An approach that often gets overlooked when considering how to settle family law matters following separation is starting with mediation.
While you may both decide to obtain independent legal advice beforehand, committing to a process to resolve your matters early, with or without lawyers present, can have a positive impact on your separation process.
We see the benefits of early mediation as these:
1. A focussed process with an end date in sight
Sending letters back and forth and circular conversations, with or without lawyers can drag out the process and cause frustration.
An unknown endpoint for negotiations can be a source of conflict, particularly when one or both of you want to move forward, requiring a release of funds or some other action to be agreed between you.
Feeling restricted from spending time with the children and not having a plan in place for upcoming holidays and special events can also lead to tension and conflict.
Commencing an early mediation puts a date on potential resolution, taking away some of the uncertainty around when your matters might be agreed.
The date also creates a focus for your efforts to put together the information you need to reach agreement.
2. Preservation of relationships
No one wants to receive long letters on an ongoing basis from someone’s lawyer. No one. Even the friendliest lawyer’s letters are a source of dread for most people.
And without lawyers, your conversations around possible solutions can become circular and appear to be going nowhere fast.
Early mediation offers the ability to bypass these types of communications and use a supported negotiation process in a non-confrontational environment. This can help to preserve your relationship rather than ruin it.
This is particularly important when you have children. Preserving your future co-parenting relationship and hopefully, taking those first steps towards forming a coparenting alliance, will enhance your children’s ability to adjust to your separation.
3. Cost-Effectiveness
An early mediation reduces the likelihood of escalating legal expenses which only further depletes your funds at a time when you will need them to establish yourself and your family in your next chapter.
Compared to protracted legal negotiations which might result in mediation anyway, or court proceedings, which can incur substantial legal fees, getting into mediation early is a much quicker and cost-effective option.
4. The emotional benefits of confidentiality and a safe space to talk
Issues, concerns and underlying emotions when not addressed can cause blockers in your negotiations. Swift intervention can prevent some issues from becoming much bigger issues.
The confidential nature of mediation allows parties to speak candidly and address underlying concerns without fear of repercussions.
Anything can be discussed in mediation, provided it is done so in a way that is safe for you and your children. You may even uncover an elephant in the room which may have caused all sorts of issues if not revealed until much later.
5. An opportunity to formalise your agreement quickly
Once you have reached a mutually acceptable agreement, it can be formalised.
Seeking legal advice prior to mediation will assist to not only arm you with the advice and information you need to reach agreement but also provide you with an understanding of the types of agreement best suited to yours and your family’s needs. The same lawyer could then be used to prepare the settlement documents.
Conclusion
Early mediation isn’t for everyone but for some, heading into a mediation process early can make all the difference when working through your family law matters arising from separation.