It is quite common for people to tell me during their initial consultation that they have been negotiating a settlement with their ex-partner and that they are both reluctant to engage lawyers.
I understand. We have all seen and heard and for many of us lawyers, experienced the war stories firsthand. Lawyers come with connotations of great expense, conflict and a loss of control over the process. Whether lawyers should be the first port of call in the separation process is a question that is put forward by many other service providers working in the family law space.
It is also fair to say that the landscape in which family law is practiced has changed over time. It is now recognised that an adversarial approach to family law is harmful to children and future relationships, impacting on people’s overall wellbeing and ability to move forward in their settlement negotiations in meaningful way.
So why see a lawyer if you are still getting along and heading towards an agreement?
Before embarking on your chosen resolution pathway, a lawyer can provide you with early advice to assist in your negotiations. If you reach an agreement, you may choose to have the same lawyer draft the settlement documents that will formalise your agreement.
A lawyer can talk you through the legal process for parenting, property, child support and spousal and defacto maintenance.
A lawyer can advise you about the hidden pitfalls of financial settlements and other issues you may not have considered. When you are dealing with complex property matters, seeking early advice can help steer you in the right direction from the start so that you obtain all the information you need to reach a fair agreement. This can prevent you from having to unravel your agreement further down the track.
There is often more than one way of formalising your agreement, once reached and a lawyer can talk you through the pros and cons of each. Going into your negotiations armed with this knowledge keeps you empowered and in the driver’s seat.
Here are some things to consider when making an appointment with a family lawyer.
1. Consider the type of lawyer you want to work with
Value alignment when working with any professional services provider is important. If you are worried about the involvement of a lawyer creating conflict do your research and look for a lawyer who values the preservation of future relationships.
2. Know what you want to achieve
Many people feel quite bewildered and lost during the separation process however, giving some thought to what a fair outcome for both your property division and your parenting arrangements could be, will help steer the conversation with your chosen lawyer and assist them to give you more specific advice about your suggestions.
3. Understand the services the lawyer can provide
You may want someone to negotiate on your behalf or you may want someone in the background for occasional advice. If you feel you may only want the latter, make sure this is a service your chosen lawyer can provide. This may look like strategy sessions or unbundled services but asking this question ahead of your initial consultation means that you can use the initial consultation to decide on what basis the lawyer will represent you moving forward.
4. Be prepared for your consultation
Ask your lawyer what information they need to best assist you during the appointment.
5. Seek a clear indication of future costs
Lawyers have an obligation to disclose legal costs to their clients. Fee estimates and the way they charge should be an open part of your initial discussions.
Conclusion
Seeing a lawyer does not need to drive conflict or take you further away from agreement. Arming yourself with the knowledge and advice to move your negotiations forward can reduce the complexity and take away the pressure of the unknowns when trying to reach an agreement.
A good lawyer should leave you feeling supported, positive and empowered, armed with the information you need to move forward with a plan to reach resolution, with or without them.
